This picture brings pain to me as I look back on a time that should have brought joy as the smiles seem to represent. It was actually the continuation of a life of self gratification in the world of addiction. My heart grieves because I inflicted such turmoil on a women that was ready to start a new life and live that dream of a happy family. I am so sorry Deb.

Drugs and alcohol have been a dominate part of my life from 1966 to 1990 and I would like to take this opportunity and let everyone know there is hope. If by chance someone with a similar problem might see this, they can take comfort in knowing there is life after addiction. This short story started with the hippie generation and all the groovy stuff that went with it. Smoking pot was just for fun...what harm could it do? A typical outlook for those that think it is just for laughs. We all start with innocent intentions but we are playing with death. It was a short trip for me to get from pot to sticking a needle in my arm. The fun was over and the addiction begins. I lived in a world consumed with one thought, how can I get loaded today and the heck with everyone else.

The life of addiction is ugly and sad because even knowing it is a disease, people let things go on without any real intervention, the addict is in a web of despair and hopelessness. It is amazing how the majority of people just enable the addict and actually help them and make excuses for their erratic behavior. Addicts are excellent con artists and can manipulate every situation. I spent many months in jail and still my real problem went on unchecked and unnoticed. If you love someone like that read on but get professional help. I was 43 before I got it together and I know people much older then me who have changed so don't give up hope.